Althouugh our modern society and 24 hr media supposes that everybody should be having an enthusiastic and varied sex life, The teachings of The Lord through the church does believe that in all cases premarital sex is a carnal sin. Fornication in the bible concerns all forms of impure intimacy.. God intended sex to be a a harmonious and blissful union between a husband and wife as it is written: “Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge” (Heb. 13:4).
Biblical teaching is clear that fornicators and adulterers will not inherit the Kingdom of the Lord. “Now the works of the flesh are evident, which are: adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lewdness, and the like; of which I tell you beforehand, just as I also told you in time past, that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God” (Gal. 5:19-21).
2. What about co-habitation?
Although this this is a common practice amongst many couples and becoming more so on a daily basis,it is not considered as an acceptable Christian lifestyle choice for many important reasons.
(a) Sexual Impurity – If you live together without being married it is called ‘living in sin’ for very good reasons.
(b) If it walks like a duck..
Even if a couple is not having sexual relations while living together, sleeping in the same space gives every indication that they do.
Even if the aims of the couple are truly innocent it has a tendency to endorse the semblance of a sinful life which sets a bad example to others in the community. that some couples might have, the appearance of living together tends to endorse sexual impurity and sets a bad example to other Christians.
(c) You expose yourself to temptation – hormones are hormones.. -- Even if an unmarried couple plan to avoid premarital sex, the hormones could expose them to overpowering temtations.. The Bible says ‘Then, when desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, brings forth death” (James 1:14-15.
3. What about sexual fantasising? – it is all around us!
Our thoughts should not control us, but we should rule over our thoughts. “Cast down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ” (2 Cor. 10:5). Sexual fantasy is a form of lust and an affront to God. It stimulates and promotes sexual desire, which is the sure route to fornication. “But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart” (Matt. 5:28). (Read Mark 7:21-23, Eph. 4:8.) I know that President Jimmy Carter made light of this quote but it is a serious thought.
4. Is it best to stay in same faith marriages Christian with Christian?
The Bible tells us that a house thus divided cannot stand strong The future of any marriage depends on the essential harmony of the spouses. If one is committed to the Jesus, but the other does not share that belief, it will create division. “...Every kingdom divided against itself is brought to desolation, and every city or house divided against itself will not stand” (Matt. 12:25).
5. How Should a Marriage Companion be Selected?
Christian datingChristian dating is not much different than any other kind of dating except that you have declared yourself or have been raised to be a Christian. Regular dating rules still apply but there may be more to it if you must also follow the word of God as well as society.
Christian dating does not have to be a time of stress. If you take things slowly and get to know each other you should be just fine. If you have met at the same church you basically know all the rules already and should not let anyone try to influence you to move in another direction away from what you know and have been taught your entire life.
Finding someone to spend the rest of your life with can be difficult but if you find that special someone in the congregation of your own church you can pretty much be certain that he or she holds the same values you do and seeing them socially should not become a problem.
Just like in any other relationship, communication is paramount to remaining happy and healthy in that relationship. If you do not talk things out then you cannot move forward.
If you cannot move forward, then you get stuck in a rut and little resentments can start to build up. This can happen even in a house that serves the Lord. You do have more recourse than a lot of people do if you do serve the Lord because you can talk to him as well.
By the time you get to be adults you should also have that forgiveness thing down pat, too. Forgiveness for those little things that creep in can go a long way to also keeping the two of you healthy and happy in your relationship.
Spend quality time together going to church functions and reading your Bible together to keep the Word of the Lord fresh in your minds as your relationship progresses.
If you decide to get serious in your relationship and are contemplating marriage then go see your pastor and talk it over with them, after you tell your parents, that is. I am pretty sure they will still want to be the first to know what you are planning.
There may be some type of pre-marriage studies you have to complete with your pastor before you marry to make sure you are compatible. Discuss this with your pastor as well.
We all know that passion can cause one thing to lead to another and then sometimes those things can get out of hand. If you are a new couple and are considering pre-marital sex you should find a trusted family member or member of the clergy to discuss it. Especially if you are not considering marriage at the time.
You do not need the guilt, or any other complication, of losing your head in the heat of the moment. Keeping your lifelong learning about what pleases and glorifies God in the forefront when you are a Christian dating couple is the best thing you can do.
Next to your salvation, your choice of a wife or husband is the most important decision you will ever make in your life. Christian Marriage can be one of life’s most wonderful blessings, but it can be an endless nightmare to those who have chosen carelessly.
(1) As in all other areas of our life, God will guide us to the right mate as we trust Him and submit to His will (Prov. 3:5). A believer should seek to marry another believer, not merely one who professes to be a Christian, but whose life also demonstrates long-term stable, Christian behavior.
(2) Do not be led by your emotions. Infatuation is often mistaken for love. Real love is not something you “fall” into. It’s something you commit yourself to, and sacrifice yourself for.
(3) Never marry anyone on the mere basis of their appearance, sexual appeal, or material things. Only shallow, foolish people do that. Choose a marriage companion on the basis of what’s inside their heart, not what’s on the outside.
(4) The Bible teaches us to count the cost of all our decisions before we make them. “For which of you, intending to build a tower, does not sit down first and count the cost, whether he has enough to finish it?” (Luke 14:28). Since marriage is supposed to last a lifetime (1 Cor. 7:39), we should carefully weigh the cost. Marriage is a sacred covenant between you, your spouse and with God. It will be a lifetime of give-and-take, sharing, and compromising. Are you willing to make these sacrifices for your mate? Remember, marriage is intended to endure, whether better or worse, “til death do you part.”
(5) A good marriage requires that Christ be the center. If He is not the center of your relationship with your companion prior to marriage, He’ll not likely be the center of your marriage later.
(6) Short-term engagements are not a good idea. Get to know a person over a period of time. A year of friendship should be a minimum before anyone even considers marriage.
(7) Never marry anyone on the basis that they’ll change after marriage. Bad habits often become worse, not better. People are usually “already” on their “best” behavior before marriage.
(8) Watch and observe how your prospective mate treats their parents. Generally, the way a son treats his mother, is how he’ll treat his wife -- the way a daughter treats her father, is how she’ll treat her husband.
(9) Do not enter into marriage without the preparation of premarital counseling from a pastor or qualified marriage counselor.
See what Prof Michael Coogan says on the subject in this Video clip with the Young Turks.
